Sunday, 11 August 2013

Chapter 14: Aligning the Moral Compass


They met up at a cafe on Beaufort Street, not so much for its proximity to them both as for the unfettered supply of coffee from Donna, who for her own part couldn’t decide whether it was better to fuss over them or to give them space to talk. In the end she did neither- spying intently from behind the gleaming red La Marzocco and repeatedly wiping down tables close enough to catch snippets of conversations. Her hands, usually so reliable at the rituals of coffee making behaved as though they were controlled by some external force, spilling coffee grounds all over the counter and burning the milk in the stainless steel jug.
For the first half hour conversation between Marshall and Hazel was hesitant and stilted. Much of their time was spent on topics that had been covered extensively on that previous Friday night but had then been lost in the haze of alcohol and time. But as the caffeine kicked in their conversation began to flow freely, their body language relaxed and smiles progressed from forced to natural. Fresh and exciting tangents were followed as words spilled like rivers from their mouths. Unconscious cues emanated from their bodies- leaning in, playing with hair, legs crossed towards each other. Facial expressions freed up and their reactions became more animated; more true. They found commonality in music and politics and self-effacing stories, but with just enough point of difference to make it interesting.
The clock ticked over to 6 o’clock and Donna started packing up the chairs and tables from the footpath. When Hazel suggested that they get out of her way and allow her to close up in peace Donna tried to assure them that they could stay as long as they liked, but didn’t force the issue when they insisted that they leave. She was tempted to get them to wait for her to lock up, but stopped herself short so as not to be a third-wheel. So she bid them adieu, locked the front door and counted the day’s takings before slinging her satchel over her shoulder and catching a lift home from Zach. In the car she filled Zach and Alby in on all that she had seen and heard.
Marshall walked Hazel back to her house via a pizzeria. Vegetarian with anchovies- a shared love of salty, slimy fish. They ate as they walked, and once they had finished, fingers still slippery from grease and spit, he nervously took her hand. They both flushed hot and pink. Feet striking concrete coordinated a rhythm.
Once home they joined the others in the lounge, propping themselves up on an under-stuffed beanbag. Between scenes on the TV the others glanced secretively at the newcomer and shared conspiratorial and knowing winks. Everyone was acutely aware of the situation. At the start of the credits Hazel smuggled him off to her room to avoid the inevitable grilling, the interrogation, the debased innuendo and the downright filthiness. They could wait. For now she would protect him. She knew all too well that once they were on a roll there was no way of stopping them and how intimidating they could be. Running would only delay the inevitable, but right now it was preferable. She could at least keep him cosseted and warn him of the dangers ahead.
She shuddered at the distant memory of what it was like to be an alien amongst them. They had always been a tight-nit group, even before Hazel had appeared on the scene. Suffering through the suspicious looks and interrogating questioning was an inevitable rite of passage, some test that must be passed before full membership could be granted. She knew they meant well, but like a cat with a mouse they were bound to go too far.
They kissed for a while on the bed- he mindful of being a gentleman, she of acting like a lady- both trying to prove to themselves, despite past indiscretions, that their moral compasses were properly aligned. Improper thoughts were rejected and they afforded each other the greatest amount of dignity and respect. They would try to remain wholesome until they were both ready to confirm this as an official relationship. Never mind that they’d already fucked, they would wait until they knew each other better before ‘taking it to the next level’.
These intentions lasted the best part of a week. One more date to be precise. They necked and groped in the dark of the driveway for what felt like minutes but turned out to be hours. With lust clouding their morals Hazel dashed inside to gather a change of clothes for work the next day and they sped through the back streets of North Perth to Marshall’s bed.
The next morning, as Hazel was pulling her apron over her head at work Donna grinned at her from the coffee pen and mouthed ‘Did you have sex?’ And there was no point in denying it. She blushed and Donna lost her mind.

As their relationship progressed Marshall learned to adjust to the frenetic pace of their collective humour. Theirs was an uncontrollable instinct to be constantly switched on, rising to meet each other’s manic energy. The room would buzz and crackle with energy. From the outset Marshall was comfortable enough to deal with individuals on their own merits. He found he could tune into their frequencies and be relied upon for genuine flashes of insight into their problems, and he became their go-to guy for all questions science. But whenever they were all together the trajectory rose and the tangents grew ever stranger and Marshall struggled to keep up. They catalysed mayhem- laughter, whimsy, unsubtle innuendo, scathing put-downs and ironically bigoted banter. Something new and exciting always had to be happening. Absurdist games, running memes and jokes were initiated, lost, and then called back upon when the inspiration hit.
Marshall often felt an outlier to their conversations, as though he was the butt of their jokes. Every now and then Hazel would look at him with a concerned expression and place her hand on his arm and let him know, without need for words, that everything was all right and he was indeed safe. That he didn’t need to get every joke, that even she didn’t get some of the jokes, and that indeed there were times when nobody save the person speaking had any idea of what they were on about. And that was all a part of the game- to see how far they could stretch a story, see how obscure a leap they could make without everyone else halting and thinking ‘no, that’s a leap too far. I’m not willing to play along with that’.
As time went by Marshall managed to ingratiate himself into the group. He found a new confidence in his own wit and started to develop his own niche within the group from where he could shoot off barbs, come-backs and improvised creations of his own. He felt honoured that they called upon his company and opinions, and he began to count them as friends of his own, not just of Hazel’s.
He also learned that even within such a tight-knit group there were sub-groups. Each configuration of members had its own unique chemistry and hierarchy. In particular the combination of Hazel, Donna and Pilar left him shaking his head in baffled wonder. The three of them together created something that neither he, nor, he later determined, anybody else could ever fathom. In another age they would have been burned as witches. Now they merely burned.

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