Dear Science

Dear Science (or more specifically biomedical research),

We’ve been together for quite some time now, but I think it’s time we take a break. What it all boils down to is that I don’t think I am the right person for you.  I don’t feel that I have the right personality to make our relationship a success. I can see us stagnating together, and you deserve better. It’s not you, it’s me. I lack the forthrightness, the drive and passion that is needed to make this relationship work, so I think the timing is right to end it here. It has been a great journey, and I regret nothing about it. I will treasure all the times we had, good and bad. I’m not looking at this moment as a bad thing, but the start of something different and good for the both of us. This is no fault of yours, I just don’t have the passion and desire any more. And while I could stay around for another few years, I don’t think that that is fair on either of us. It’ll just be stalling the inevitable, and I get the feeling that neither of us would be truly content for that to happen. I don’t see this as necessarily a bad thing, merely something that just is.

Please know that you will forever be in my heart and mind. You cannot spend 10 years of your life with one and not expect to carry around sentimental feelings. This isn’t something that has suddenly popped up. I’ve had these feeling off and on now for several years, and it’s now got to the point where I think it is for the best for both of us if we break up. This is something I have to do for my self. I think you will be fine without me (please take this as a compliment). You still have your disciples and groupies. And this is not meant to be mean or derogatory, but I don’t imagine I will be terribly missed. You will get over me and move on with your life, and achieve even greater heights that neither of us can foresee.

I will always cherish everything you have given me. You have been a beacon in my life. You have nurtured me, taught me, provided for me and thrilled me. Through you I have developed many a talent and flair, and I hope to be able to use these gifts in the future. For these I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Who knows, in the future circumstances may change and we could make it work again. I’m not willing to close that door entirely. In the present circumstances, with me writing you this letter, you may think of it as closed, bolted and barred, but I hope that in time you also come to appreciate fully what we had together and leave the door unlocked. We’ve been through too much to close each other off completely.

For now I don’t know what I will do. Take some time out I guess. Re-assess where I am at in life. You will certainly leave a massive hole in my life. I won’t be rushing out to fill it any time soon, but instead take some space to think, to write, to challenge myself in new ways. In many ways I am excited about this next phase in my life, yet at the same time I am absolutely terrified. It covers the whole spectrum of emotions. For now I just want to sit back and experience this sensation for what it is, to the fullest and as something new.

So it is with a heavy heart, excitement and sheer bloody terror that I bid you adieu. I’ll try to check up on you every now and then, see what you are up to. I will always remember our time fondly and through a sepia tint. Good luck.

Lloyd